I'm secretly biual and I'm in love with my straight friends? It is Killing me inside?

I'm a bi guy. I've been developing feelings for my straight friends. One of which is my "Little" and I'm his "Big" for a college club which is basically like fraternity brother who is close to you. I think I'm falling for him. I know he will never love me back and it kills me inside like daggers stabbing me over and over. I also feel extremely hurt when he is with girls. I know it's stupid of me to feel this way. How can get over him or anything straight friends I develop feelings about? How can I move on with my life? Even if I was "out" I would still have feelings for my straight friends regardless so please don't say just come out.